My own Valentine's Day

In Belgium, and I believe in most of Europe, the celebration of Valentine's Day doesn't go way back.

It's been commercialised over the last 10-15, maybe 20 years or so, and stores, brands and by extent "the people" have tagged along. It has nothing to do with European traditions or culture, it's just another asset for a society built on consumerism.

I've never celebrated Valentine's Day with any of my previous boyfriends. With exception of my 7-year relationship with the Spanish guy, I actually never had a boyfriend on the 14th of February. During that long-term relationship we both agreed not to do anything special on that day, we were still young and rebellious (and rather limited financially) and did not want the mainstream to determine when to emphasize our love.

With Tomas, I have taken I slightly different stand. I have no idea whether he celebrated it with Tereza, and as far as I know he shares my idea of that it's just another day where we're peer-pressured into buying each other gifts.

He has, however, mentioned it sometime last year, in the context of "gah, another day I'll have to go looking for a gift". We didn't discuss it at all back then, but I assumed it was something he considered a necessary evil, and he dreaded it a bit.

We did Christmas gifts, which we exchanged on New Year's eve (he went out and bought mine literally on December 29th), so I figured we'd do this as well.

Now with the date coming up, I believe we'll go out to dinner, and I've thought of a nice present for him too. When I told him I'd get him a present he said I didn't need to do that, that he couldn't be bothered to participate actively in all that and go get me one. I said it doesn't need to be much, flowers or chocolate will do (however much that's unlike me). He mumbled a bit, but he knows know that I'll expect something. It's up to him to not disappoint me.

I've taken my precautions for possible disappointment, and what he doesn't know is that my present for him actually is a present for me too.

As I've mentioned before, he gave me permission to take down most of Tereza's pictures that were scattered around the house, from collages to frames and everything. There's still some very emblematic ones up, like their wedding picture or a canvas with both of them kissing, surrounded by well-wishings for their wedding. Although he has said I could take those down too, I feel he needs to take those down, not me.

He has also half-jokingly mentioned that if I'm bothered by them, besides taking them down I should put pictures of me and him up.

Now seems like a great time to do that! I'm ordering a few collages online, where you use a background picture and are able to surround it with as many smaller pictures as you like and they print it on photo-paper in the size you like.

I've decided to take our pictures from our trip to Kenya and make a collage of some of the awesome places and animals we saw, and make another one with pictures of us while we were there.

Yes, we definitely went horseback-riding amongst the wildlife. Who would not want a picture of that.

It'll be up to him to put them up, but I can't imagine him just letting them lie around, as I know he really likes some of the pictures. I'm ordering a couple separate pictures of us as well he can then put in the empty frames he has stored.

I would really like to see the pictures on display, as we have good memories from them, and on a somewhat selfish note, I would love the recognition. When he has friends or family over they will not only see pictures of him and Tereza, but they will see some of him and me too in prominent places and probably ask about them, engaging in conversation about our trip, bringing back the good memories. It will be a silent signal of progress and in a way, it's creating myself a place in his life.

I admit, my underlying intentions are a tad egocentrical and may come off to some as "pushy", but I feel it's a nice way of moving forward without asking him to undertake anything. He just has to go with it, which I think he will as he was the one suggesting it. Although, I doubt he thought I would actually do it!

So it's a surprise in many ways, and I'm really curious to see his reaction. Even if he decides to be stubborn and not get me anything, I won't be bothered for long as I'll enjoy my own gift to him just as much. 

I never thought Valentine's Day could be more than a tool for economy, yet here I am giving it a whole new purpose!